Greetings Hockey Fans!!!

Grab a fist full of Dads Band-Aids for your funny bone and some extra mustard for your jumbo hot-dog! It’s time to lace up your skates and hit the ice TOONS ON-ICE style! Just beware you don't get clobbered by the Hockey Granny blazing thru the netural zone like a bat out of hell!


Hockey Summertime Puckheads! This time of summer true Hockey Fanatics can be seen withdrawing from the playoffs chasing squirrels, raiding the refrigerator, rollerbladding thru mom's flowers and basically taking out all their inner frustrations out on their entire family. And that's just the family dog! Cousin Eb swears on his John Deere Hat that there is nothing more exciting than the sights and sounds of a good ole’ hockey game! ( Well, except maybe bowling with Carmen Elektra and Ashley Rivera ). All dedicated hockey fans know that the true science of navigating a hockey game is juggling a cardboard tray of hot-dogs without spilling your drinks on the other people seated below in front of you! Imagine right about now some goofy Hockey Referee is slapping on his whitsle and Signature Stevie Wonder Sunglasses headed for the cold sparkley pool sporting his pink plastic Barney pool float bossing the little puckers around for splashing his sunburnt bald head and for taking dives.

You gotta love hockey! The hits, the speed, the excitement, the $8 hot-dogs, the $10 beers, oh and the $15 parking! If ice hockey dosen't rock your socks, your most likely into sports where the water is melted and everyone has a John Deere hat and a fishing pole. Congratulations to this years 2009 Stanley Cup Champions The Pittsburgh Penguins! Right about now as we speak, The Stanley Cup is floating in a fishing boat somehwhere up in Moosejaw. In honor of this years exciting Stanley Cup Playoff Festivities. The Hockey Granny just skated into the offensive zone and whacked Paula Abdul in the pie hole with her giant cooking pan! For deadly speed and accuracy, Granny’s gone back to her old retro iron skillet! Hockey Fans are truly optimistic that Ryan Seacrest and Grampa will be Granny’s next targets! Like Coach Mom always says, the best way to stop a fancy player is to bust him in the chops with a McDonalds Hamburger!

So What's New ON-ICE? Will that big fat Ref ever quit farting in the pool? Will NHL Referees ever sign Lens Crafters endorsements? Will Moms 1989 Dodge mini van ever be enducted into the Hockey Hall of Fame? Will arena pipe organs ever replace Metallica during key face-offs? Will NHL Highlights ever replace Poker and Cow Racing on ESPN? Will Barry Melrose's hair join the cast of Dancing with the Hoseheads? Will the NHL ever stop changing their uniforms more than Beyonce changes her shoes? Will Cousin Eb sell his prized Dukes of Hazzrd Zippo Ligher Collection on E-bay for Predators Season Seat tickets? Will President Barack Obama ever leave his four year vacation and trade in his KFC Snacker for an Alexander Ovechkin slapper? Will Heavy Metal Ice Fishing ever become an Olympic event? Will the Zamboni Racing Team replace snowboarding at The 2009 Winter X Games? Will Kid Rock and John Rich ever grow Hockey Mullets and beat themselves up? Will Coach Dad ever win that Hooters Hawaiin Dream Vacation he’s always dreamed of? And finally... will Walmart start renting hockey skates so you can body check some idiot into the Jeff Gordon Beer Cooler display in aisle thirteen? Well, we can always hope!

Now go skate out there and grab a something with Barbeque Sauce for Coach Dad!


It’s a great day for hockey!


The ICE MISER

Got Puck? Got Vacation? Got a Puckin' Vacation?

Hit the beach in the Bahama's! Explore a killer Carvival Cruise to Mexico! Book a flight to a Stanley Cup Final! Rock your hot-dog at a Jazz Festival! Or take the entire mite team to Toronto and tour the NHL Hockey Hall of Fame with Coach Dad!

Contact TOONS ON-ICE Official Travel Sponsor Jaye Torre @ ATM TRAVEL E-mail: jayetorre@gmail.com or 505.220.3304 to book your 2009 Summer Vacation now!
( Jaye is the niece of the Legendary Dodgers Manager Joe Torre ).